I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
