Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
