you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
