bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
