I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
