is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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