I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
