I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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