HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
