Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
