It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
