new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
