She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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