don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
