So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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