so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
