Sponge bath it is.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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