in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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