you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
