maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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