He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
