I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
