Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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