Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
