clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
