I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
