Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
