And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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