nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
