i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
