I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
