It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
