hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
and she was petting her beer can
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
