She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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