I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
