We're like a lot better than the average bears
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Green mimosas i think yes
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
