Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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