can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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