I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Randomize
