my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
