ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
