I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
