you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
