I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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