Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
