just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
