Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
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