Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
