Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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