Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
