How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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