ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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