If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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