Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
