My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
